Musings

August 2nd, 2018

Why I Laugh

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Written by: Gene
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Why do I laugh?
 
I have been pondering my mom’s Memorial Service, and my state when I was there.
 
I currently live in constant physical pain (some of you may know that), and I tend to deal with physical pain differently than others.
 
When pain hits me sharply, I tend to make the usual screaming “ouch”. When pain is constant, I tend to laugh and joke as I try to manage it.
 
The only time I might consider pain meds, is when (for a short time) pain makes me cranky, and even then I do not take anything for pain. I don’t like the idea of becoming addicted to pain meds, and this is even to the point that I choose to do without and “suck it up”.
 
There was a time when a chiropractor was adjusting my back because I threw it out. As she was twisting me in her torture devices, I found myself laughing and joking. She stood up and said to me, “you have a very high tolerance for pain…”
 
When mom passed, I hurt inside, but I knew it was for purely selfish reasons. I was going to miss my mom, and would miss our talks together. We had developed a great dialogue over the years, and could really talk about anything (especially the Goodness of God).
 
But, I knew that my mom was in a much better place, and I even found myself jealous of where she was. She was hand-in-hand in the presence of Jesus. As I sat next to her, knowing that she had gone moments before, I looked up and said, “Thank You Jesus, and mom I will see you later…”
 
When it came time to do her memorial, I was physically hurting so much, I almost didn’t go. I knew a memorial wasn’t what mom wanted, but memorials are not for those who have gone home… They are for us who remain.
 
As I sat there on the front row of the service, I was made happy by those who came to me saying they were sorry for my loss. I saw tears in their eyes as they had an idea of my loss, because they were remembering those whom they had lost.
 
But, I found myself happy, laughing, and even telling jokes.
 
Here I was in physical pain, laughing as I tried to manage it. I was happy to see the kindness of people towards my mom. I was rejoicing as I coveted my mom’s new place in Eternity with Jesus.
 
I know there were some people who thought I was manic or crazy as I sat there, talking with them. Here is a guy in shorts, leaking from his legs on a pad, unable to physically make himself wear mourning clothes and mope around.
 
But, I was happy for my mom, and I refuse to spoil it by moping around. Her passing was her reward, I won’t steal God’s glory by making her passing about me.
 
I guess that is why Jesus said, “let the dead bury their dead”. As a Born Again Believer who has already died with Christ, death has no meaning in my life, because even in physical death, we are made alive.
 
That is why I refuse to say my mom died, she is so very alive right now. My mom passed over from her body of death, to her Eternal Life with Jesus.
 
And when I do miss her, I am reminded of the scripture that says, “one day with God is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as one day.”
 
Jesus went home to prepare a place for me 2000 years ago, but in heaven that is like 2 days. If God spent 7 days creating everything, imagine how good my mom has it in heaven after 2 days of Jesus preparing our place there.
 
Mom passed when I was 50 and God limited us to 120 years. So if I live for 70 more years of that 1000 years as one day, then it will only seem like 3 hours to my mom that she hasn’t seen me.
 
So I laugh… rejoice even… this painful body of death will not have me forever. One day I will be free from it, and until then I live by the verses that say “I shall not die, but live and declare the glory of God” and “to live is Christ, and to die is gain”.

About the Author

Gene
A husband to an awesome wife, father to 3 beautiful girls, step-father to a beautiful girl and smart son. Preacher, Designer and best of all a Servant to a loving and gracious God.




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