February 16th, 2017

Valentines Thoughts

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Written by: Gene
As Valentines ended, I have been pondering some things about relationships.
I remember there was a couple where the husband considered his wife as his “trophy.” To him, she only existed to look good on his arm, and she had to dress a “certain” way. She would show up to church in these fitted dresses, and try to descretly drop off her kids in the nursery without showing off her business.
Women would look at her and remark about how she should know better. When I saw her, I knew she was miserable because she was in a place where she only existed when she was by her husband’s side. I wasn’t the only man to notice, and other guys saw she for who she really was.
She was remarried not long after…
I also remember a church I worked in. I would hear this woman who came in for “counseling” and all she did was loudly talk bad about her husband and scream out that all she wanted was a divorce.
I knew her husband, and everyone saw how she treated him. He put up with her mistreatment, and even tried to win her over with a high paying job that was out of the country.
He would come home and while she enjoyed the money, she called him worthless and almost daily said she wanted a divorce. He would try his best to win her over, but she never noticed or acknowledged his efforts.
Other women did though… and one day he surprised his wife by giving her what she daily told him she wanted. A divorce…
I went to another man’s house once, and as he was outside I went in to use the restroom. I overheard his wife tell their kids, “I know, but you know how your dad is. When he goes to work, we will do it anyway, and won’t tell him. He will never know.”
This made me mad because I was living this at the time. It wasn’t long after that, she left him blindsided and was soon remarried.
This woman, felt the need to “counsel” women at church about how great it was that she was able to divorce her husband. The feeling of freedom she felt was great.
I know of one marriage that didn’t survive because the wife took her “counsel” to heart and left her husband…
I found this sad, because the self proclaimed counselor later told me that maybe she rushed into the divorce and remarriage, but she was stuck.
To this day, I could never recommend divorce to even my worst enemy… There is more pain than you would ever know, and once you have done it, it is easy to do again.
Divorce is the “virgin’s cherry” that should never be given away, but sadly many are raped by someone who could care less.
I see all you wonderful people, who brag about your years of successful marriage, and I am glad for you. You are blessed that you are in a relationship where both of you care about what you are building together.
You should thank Jesus daily that you have someone who doesn’t constantly look elsewhere for their needs, and try to push you away.
When you push someone away, they have to go somewhere. The more they have to work to keep you satisfied and happy, the more that others will notice what a catch they truly are. The harder they work proving their worth, the more their resistance gets weak towards those who would make them their own.
One day when you push them away and they are no longer there, don’t get mad because they passed out in the arms of someone waiting to catch them.
Pushing away and rejection in a marriage, are equal to micro-divorces. It is one thing to “play hard to get” when dating, but it amounts to being impossible to live with when married.
If you are constantly making your spouse work to earn your acceptance and love, then your love is conditional and therefore worthless.
As I ponder all this, I am directed back to Jesus and His love for me. He loved me unconditionally and took me with all my flaws and faults. I never had to work to earn His love, because He graciously gave it to me.
If anything, I am the one who pushes Him away. If I am not careful, I will shoot myself in the foot by talking smack about how deplorable the living conditions are with Him. Even thought it could never be true, because He gave me all He had.
We are given a chance to accept His love, but there will come a time when there will be one last offer to push Him away or to accept Him. At that point, He will give us the “freedom” that we think we want… it will be too late.
I remember when I went through a divorce, I asked Jesus how He could ever understand what it was liked to be divorced.
He told me that He made his offer of unconditional love and marriage to over 7 billion people who reject Him. He also revealed to me that he has had millions of His brides leave Him for something that they considered more valuable than what He had to offer.
I guess Jesus understands rejection and divorce, because He had endured it millions of times.
Lord Jesus, I your bride am in this for the long haul, and I long to be with you forever. Since we are both resolved to do this, this one is ours and nothing can separate me from Your love.
Knowing this, I am compelled to treat you Lord like I would have my wife treat me. I will also treat my wife, just like I would want to be treated by You.

About the Author

A husband to an awesome wife, father to 3 beautiful girls, step-father to a beautiful girl and smart son. Preacher, Designer and best of all a Servant to a loving and gracious God.

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