Musings

August 16th, 2015

Childhood Dreams, Books, & Walking Through

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Written by: Gene
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PoleBuildingConstruction

Back in 1975 at the age of 7, my parents bought a book called “Pole Building Construction.” This book intrigued me, and I read it many times. When I moved out of the house, the book followed me.

At an age when nothing was impossible, I wanted to build my own house. My thought was that people built their houses since the day of Adam, “how hard could it be?” I didn’t see the obstacles that would be in the way, I had a plan book in front of me, and the instructions were easy enough.

Then I grew up, and life hit me. I still wanted the experience of building my house, but lost track of how to get there. I listened to the nay-sayers that told me I had no skill. I put others first who didn’t want to wait to build, but wanted it “now.” I kept the dream and book around, but they got shelved for other “more important things” that honestly I didn’t need.

The dream always followed me saying, “How hard can it be?” The book was always there saying, “Let me show you how…”

Fast forward 40 years and I am now 47. I am finally building my house!!!

Am I a carpenter? Nope. Am I a professional? Nope. Do I always know what I am doing? Nope…

But I have a book. I have instructions. I have the Holy Spirit who gives me understanding.

There is another book that offers life instructions, and it is The Bible. I have heard people say that they “have made mistakes, but life doesn’t come with instructions.” To which I reply, “No, life does come with instructions, you just chose not to read and follow them. Life’s instructions are found in The Bible.”

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Psalms 37:4 tells us, “Delight yourself also in the LordAnd He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This means that if we focus on God and what He says, He will give us dreams, visions and desires to do things. 

Many people in history were given a dream, and fulfilled that dream through faith that what God said could be done, could be done if they delighted in Him. Abraham became a “father of many nations” even though he was only allowed to build it through one son, and he never got to see how great that nation would become. Noah built a ship on dry land when God told him to, even though it took him 100s of years to build, and the dream to live in it was only for 1 year. God himself waited 4000 years to be able to come down and redeem man from his sins, but because he said it would be done, it was done through Jesus Christ. Jesus only lived for a little over 30 years on this earth, and since his job is done here, he has been preparing a place for us for the last 2000 years (that is going to be one awesome place when it is finished).

Just over a year ago, I was attacked in my body. Over a two week span, I swelled up to 335 pounds of fluid. My skin became tight as a drum, and I could barely breath or move. I became unable to sleep in a bed, my vision would become tunneled, my breathing would become a fight for each breath.

I had a friend of mine who was a nurse, get angry with me because I wouldn’t go to a doctor. When I prayed, The Lord told me that this attack was spiritual, not to go to the doctor because they would misdiagnose me because of the spiritual nature of the attack, and that He would walk through it with me. I had tried fluid pills and Advil, but they only made it worse, so I took scripture.

Early on, I saw in Job:1 that Job didn’t sin when he was attacked, because he didn’t blame God. So many people will talk like a sickness is a gift from God to endure so that they will pass some secret cosmic test. When Satan attacks us with sickness, we give glory to God by renouncing that attack, and walking in the health that God has for us.

So I prayed and told God that I didn’t blame Him for the attack.

I started to leak below my knees to the point that the skin and meat fell off my legs. I couldn’t walk to the bathroom without taking a break halfway. I lost most all my muscle mass, and could barely move my computer mouse or lift my spoon. I lost control of basic bodily functions, and the pain was so great that I would sit and cry. I remember tears streaming down my face, and praying that Mary would go run an errand so that I could bawl out loud to God.

I became unable to sleep and was lucky to get 1 hour of sleep in a 24 hour period. After 2 months and only 60 hours of sleep total, I began to hallucinate and forgot basic things. I remember crying out to God that I knew He was healing me because he was able too and wanted too, but I forgot all scriptures to the fact. I needed the Holy Spirit to take into account the scriptures that I spoke in the past to carry me through.

I would stand, cry out “in Jesus name” and be immediately hit with waves of pain. I felt like my body was torturing me. I prayed and then cried because I felt like God wasn’t listening, but I knew that God always listened to His children. I had to make myself believe that He heard me, even if I didn’t feel like He had.

As I sat in my chair, I couldn’t tell if what I was seeing was in a dream sleeping or awake… who knew? I would see many things, and times God would talk to me like He was in the room. Those moments of clarity were so sweet, and I longed for more of them. Then total pain and confusion would set in, and I would feel alone again.

I remember praying that if God was ready to take me home, please do so now. I remember in the silent darkness of night hearing Mary praying and crying’ “Lord, Please don’t take him yet…”

One day as I sat there, I heard a voice in the room saying, “There are those who want you dead…” I saw 4 visions to the fact, and received an answer to them that I won’t go into detail about. They are very personal.

I was told to read Romans chapters 5-8 everyday and was given specific things to pray daily (30 days after the leaking stopped), and I spiritually put an end to those who wished evil on me (forgiveness given to them). That, and the knowing that Jesus said that He would walk through this with me, was the only thing I had to do. The rest I would leave to Him and Him alone.

This was about Christmas of 2014, and fluid started to come off of me by the pound. By the middle of April 2015 I had dropped 95 pounds of fluid (water weighs 8 pounds per gallon, so I figure that I lost an easy 12 gallons in that time span. People started to see that I was much slimmer, but I was in the middle of a healing, and still needed muscle mass to grow back.

It was about mid April when the muscle started to grow back through the power of God. Not because I “hit the gym” but God was restoring what was stolen.The weight started to come back on (in a good way), and I estimate that I have shed about 15 gallons of fluid so far.

I am currently still leaking, but the meat, nerves, muscles and skin have mostly filled in. Still a small way to go, and “God is faithful to finish His good work that He promised.”

It had been a rough year, and I don’t wish that on my worst enemy. My stamina and strength has been returning, and everyday I have reason to praise God for what He is enabling me to do.

His Good Book and Word, has given me strength to use other books to finally get to build my house. The Holy Spirit restored my mind, and spoke to me in the darkest of times. He still speaks to me about my house, because He is always interested in me.

When I am unsure about any part of my life, He offers me advice and explains to me those things that I need to get through the rough spots. God doesn’t get glory by my struggling, but He gets glory when I listen and obey His Word and can thump the devil right between the eyes as I overcome each of life’s challenges.

Thank You Father God for Your Word that gives me power to overcome the great and the small.

Thank You Jesus for everything from healing me, setting me free, opening the door for me, and for being a friend that has stuck closer than a brother.

Thank You Sweet Holy Spirit for never leaving my side, for guiding my way through this life, and for dreams and inspirations.

Lord God, please accept this life as you own, and receive my praise of Your Awesome glory.


About the Author

Gene
A husband to an awesome wife, father to 3 beautiful girls, step-father to a beautiful girl and smart son. Preacher, Designer and best of all a Servant to a loving and gracious God.




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