I never re-post other people’s blogs, but this one stood out to me.

It is a letter that is sent to a husband from a wife. A woman who sees the value of a letter like this, and acts on it, will unleash so much power out of her husband that she will benefit in ways that she can not imagine.

In all my years, I never once received a letter from a wife/girlfriend like this. There were times that I really needed it. There were times when I was beating myself up to the point that I felt like I was dieing inside, and all I got was words that crushed me even more or words that tried to lead me away from the Faith that kept me going.

There were times that I got no words at all (either good or bad), but actions of disgust or rejection.

If you have a significant other that desires to live a life that is above board, don’t judge them for it, but build them up in it.

The letter goes like this:

My Beloved,

Although the past has brought us both happiness and heartache, I would like to encourage you to continue on your journey to being healed and restored. God is already teaching you so much about who He intended you to be. Through you healing, the lies of the world that tried to reshape you have been made visible and undesirable. Your restoration to God’s plan for your life is becoming an attractive reality. I thank you for your new commitment to keep you mind and body pure for me, as I do for you. Your diligence in seeking a stronger, more intimate relationship with God impresses me beyond words. I see James 1:2-6 alive in you.

Your faithfulness in being a servant of God is inspiring my growth. Your ability to hear from God and submit to His plans for your life humbles me. Your full and complete trust in the Father is strengthening my complete trust in you. A desire to follow you is increasing in me daily. As you are growing in servant hood, I now see you transforming to son ship with God. You are becoming mightier – fully dressed in the armor of God. (I love a man in uniform.) You are now in complete understanding of Ephesians 6.

What a beautiful time in your life it is. You are rising to your new place of son ship. God is now bringing you in closer- showing you the whole of His perfect love and grace. He is so proud of you and how well you have done, as am I. You have developed the mind of Christ. I am in awe of your ability to know and put onto action the Word of God, not only into your life but also into the lives of others. Your ease in communicating with the Holy Spirit quiets my fears. More than anything, your growing, intimate relationship with the Father warms my heart. God is showing both of us His infinite love and grace, not only for each other but of our families as well. As our two families come together, I ask you to stand in agreement with me on Ephesians 3: 14-19. This agreement is the first in our steps to partner together.

I absolutely delight in seeing you walk every day in 1 John 1-5. Your partnership with God is our source of happiness. You have come so far and have overcome so much. You are my hero. You handle you new responsibilities with such ease, proving to all the truth of Matthew 11:30. A desire to follow you and help you achieve all that God has called you to do is growing in me. You have captured my heart.

I am completely elated to know that God loves me so much that He has chose a man for me, that He now calls a friend. Your actions are now in rhythm with the desires of the Father. Thank you for listening to God. We will now come to one another wholly and not hastily. Our future is full of the Promises of God, and our inheritance is immeasurable. I praise God for the covenant that the two of you share and look forward to the day I join in that covenant. I now find myself smiling at the mere thought of you.

You Beloved.

I haven’t really been giving dating any thoughts lately, because I have been waiting for the divorce to be final. It has been a very long time since Michelle moved out (Dec 27th, 2005), and I’ve been basically finding out who I am.

I would definitely say that life has been financially easier for me since then, even though I let her just “take it all”. I have had to repurchase just about everything to run a household, but really that is no big deal. I am not one that needs “things” to be happy.

My life is much simpler now, even though there were some things that I had to just get over. It was tough to be with a person that didn’t know how to just be happy. I learned that you can do everything for someone, and if they can’t be happy, it will frustrate you and make you do things that you regret.

I don’t have any anger towards her, and it isn’t even a temptation to be snide towards her when I hear her still complain about the same things that she blamed me for. Yes it hurt to be told that she “could do and deserved better”, but love will never say “I told you so”.

I am learning that.

After she moved out, I tried to date, but I wasn’t ready. All I would do is compare a girlfriend to how I was treated before, and that wasn’t fair to anyone. Plus, I really didn’t need to be dragging my girls through some mid-life drama because I wasn’t ready to date, and also while I was still legally married to their mom.

They would tell me to date. They wanted to see me with someone who made me happy, but I have to do what is right. I had people tell me to date, and try to set me up, but I had to be ready. I had to fix me.

I have always been the marrying kind of guy, and I hate being alone. I don’t like going to bed by myself, and I really want someone that I can do things for. I want a help mate that shares my visions, and doesn’t have to feel that they have to change who they are, to make me happy. I want someone who seeks to make God happy first (not themselves and not me).

I have been praying that the Father will just tell me who He wants for me. He knows me better than I know myself, and He knows who I need. He knows who will compliment me, and who I will compliment. So I have been doing other things till then.

I got a few emails the last couple days, and they got me thinking. I don’t “go out” much, because it hasn’t been a big priority to me. I went out with a friend quite a few times, because I felt she was “safe”. I have had so much fun just being able to talk to someone, without any drama.

I have a feeling that we both have these walls up, and that has been a form of protection. We just went to eat, talked about Life, Love and Faith, and I need that. I didn’t want any drama to cloud my mind, and these walls have kept it at bay.

Anyway, back to this email… This email offered me hope of closure to several things in my life, and as I responded to it, I thought about the protective walls that I had set up. When I go out with people, I make it a point to tell them up front that I wasn’t going to pursue anything deeper until the divorce was final.

I figured that if I said that, and they walked away, then fine. I was upfront and honest, and wouldn’t lead anyone on. I am not going to hurt anyone. Anyone who knows me, has heard me say that quite often, and most everyone agrees and supports me.

Oh… that email… As I responded to it, I thought about someone in particular and said this…

“She trusts in Jesus, and goes to church.

She thinks computers and the internet are a waste of time.

She teaches children at church.

She has a ministry, and we can talk about Jesus endlessly.

I told her that I was waiting for my divorce, and she respected that.

She is open and honest, even if it reveals a bad side of her.

I could go on…”

As I have been thinking about this list, I realized that I need to lower the walls. The last thing I want is to let walls of protection become walls of a prison. I think that I am finally ready to “date”, even though it scares me…

In High School I never dated, because it scared me. I had so many crushes, but I let fear keep me from doing anything. I think dating is over rated, and really you have to be in a position to love people for who they really are.

I don’t want a relationship with someone who forgets I exist, or rips me up when they are moody. I don’t need a girlfriend for “having a girlfriend”s sake, and I don’t want someone because I don’t want to go to bed alone either. I don’t want to date someone who will compare my every move to their ex, I lived with that for years, and no one should go through it.

We as a society place way to much value on pseudo-marriages. We date till we are frustrated, break up, and move to the next one. We have proms that are fake weddings, and give away parts of our lives to everyone, while saving nothing new for our future spouse. I believe faithfulness in marriage, happens before marriage…. call me an idealist, but I wont go there.

I need someone, that the Father knows will go with me, where ever He needs us to go.

I received a word from a ministering couple about a month ago, and it went like this…

“Don’t be in a hurry, Don’t be in a hurry, Don’t be in a hurry

Because the Lord’s building character in you

The Lord’s building character in you, and that takes time”

When I first heard this, I prayed as to what it meant, because it applied to many areas of my life. I wondered if it was for a ministry, work, getting things for my kids, or whatever. I wondered what “character” defect God needed to fix, and I prayed and gave Him full permission to do what he needed to do.

It dawned on me that this word was more of a confirmation of how I felt about dating. I didn’t want to hurry, and I knew I needed work, and God was simply helping me to close off some of the doors that I had left open. I can begin to see that a certain door is opening up for me, and He will reveal something soon that is life changing.

I have started to tear down the walls that have been keeping me from positive relationships. I think it is time to start building a new place in my life to hold for what God has for me. I am so grateful to my Father for preparing a new life for me, even though I stopped seeking it.

Many times my Lord saw me stuck in “a rock and hard place”, and he lifted me out of it, in many ways. He revealed so many things to me, and confirmed them more than once. I am ready for the next step, and will take it when the time is right.

Thanks again Jesus, for your willingness to save me…

Thanks Father, for lifting me up, so that I can lift you up…

Thanks Sweet Holy Spirit for being there 24/7…

I am ready

I was talking to my kids the other day, and mentioned the term “spiritual eyes” to them in passing. I had been praying that God would grow me up spiritually to the point that I could see the “hidden” things of God. I know that my Heavenly Daddy has so much for me, and He is waiting for me to be mature enough to recognize those things.

When I mentioned that (spiritual eyes) to my kids, one of them told me that her teacher told them that “the reason that God closes our spiritual eyes, is so that we wont go crazy from what we see through them.” I was taken back at first at how childish her teacher’s perception was concerning this, and I prayed about it. I was reminded several months back as I was praying, when a question came to my mind about this very thing.

I don’t know where the question came from, or where in me I heard it, but I remember it clearly. I felt as if God was asking me “If I wanted to show you the spiritual as plain as the natural (where angels and demons were as clear as trees and people to my eyes), would you want to see it?” I remember my reply was first an attempt to be “humble and lowly”, and I thought “No I don’t think I could handle it… It would be to scary to see a huge demon standing before me”.

After a couple of seconds I responded out loud “But God, I would be able to see how much bigger you were than those tiny little demons, so yes… yes I would” I could see that satan was trying to get me to be afraid of the hidden unknown things of God.

As a couple weeks went on, I was praying in 1 Corinthians 13 where it was talking about “when I was a child I spoke, thought and reasoned as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things. I heard the same voice tell me that “the hidden things were not hidden, but because of my childish spiritual condition I was unable to see them.” I asked the Lord what He meant, and he used the analogy of a newborn baby.

When a baby is born into the world, they can only see what is right in front of their face (their hands). The room isn’t hidden from them, but they don’t see it. As their eyes mature, they start to see further away but are limited by their location. They lay in their crib, and can see the carrousel and the ceiling, but the door or floor isn’t visible.

As they learn to sit up, crawl, stand, walk, jump, run, ride a bike, drive a car and so on, their location changes as does their scope of vision. The hidden things are revealed as they grow up, and it can be a very frustrating for a parent to have kids think they are know-it-alls with every revelation they get.

The scripture tells us that the revelations will become useless and are only a part of the big picture. When my kids learned to ride a bike, the having “to relearn to walk” is useless. Learning to ride a bike, only reveals a small part of this huge world we live in. That principal is so very true in all areas of our life when it comes to growth.

I get very tired of hearing scientists claim to teach “facts” about the universe when we have not even left the crib scientifically. It is frustrating to hear philosophers ask me if a tree makes a sound when it falls if I am not there to see or hear it, when they breath air that cannot be seen or touched. It can be very frustrating to the Father in Heaven as He tells us to have faith, and we cannot grasp it because we don’t see it.

That teacher meant well, but she of all people should know that a child could never use the excuse for not wanting to go to school, being because they don’t want to be driven crazy by what they don’t currently understand. Could you imagine a student saying they don’t trust the teacher enough to believe that 6+6=12, because they don’t have enough fingers to verify it to be true? We have enough sense to know that a child could never understand history or science, if they cant read or write.

Once a student learns to read or write, to relearn it in order to study science or history is useless. It is silly when a child thinks they can teach a class, when all they can do is read or write, because that is only a small part of the big picture.

The Spiritual world is very real, and the Lord sees it, hears it, feels it, understands it, and is the final authority about it. It is foolishness to not have faith in Him, and childish to think we know more than Him. Just like it is my desire for my kids to grow to be adults and my responsibility to help them to get there, it is the Father’s desire and responsibility as well to see we have everything necessary to grow spiritually.

Learning to see with our spiritual eyes is the baby steps that we need to learn for eternity. The revelations in scripture that we get, are for our life on this earth, and it makes no sense to refuse to learn them until we “get to heaven.” To be afraid to grow because maturity scares us, is complete childishness and unnecessary fear.

I have heard it said that a person can become “so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good”, and that is a lie from hell. When a spiritual baby pretends to be an adult they become no earthly good, but a person who takes the time to seek the face of God and walk in His love, will become earthly good by the nature of maturity.

When a teenager claims to be an adult because they can have sex and buy booze, they become a burden to society. When a baby Christian refuses to grow up, they become a burden to mature Christians who have to go behind them and clean up after them. The conclusions drawn about adulthood by a child are never correct, because they draw conclusions from the attitude of “what can I get out of it”

The true mature adult, will seek to walk considering the interests of others first. They will give and not take. They protect and not hurt. A teenage boy, having sex to be a man, will high tail it and selfishly run away in self preservation when he gets a girl pregnate.

God wants us to desire to see through the spiritual eyes He gave us, but there are some mature guidelines. Believe His word even when you don’t understand (he is the teacher), ask Him what He wants you to learn (a student doesn’t demand to the teacher what will be taught in class), understand that a revelation is a small thing in the grand scheme of His vision (don’t get puffed up and stuck on your pet revelations), and by all means walk in love (we all grow at different speeds in different areas, we all have different talents and callings, we all live with different needs and live in different locations, but we all serve the same loving Lord Jesus and have the same Father in Heaven).

Father, thank you for opening the eyes of my understanding, I ask that you lift me where you want me, teach me and use me, help me to consider others better than myself, and I am so very grateful for using me in your Kingdom despite myself. I want to grow up to see and know you Father just as much as you know me.

As I was praying the other day from Ecclesiastes, “there is a time to tear down, and a time to build up”, the Sweet Holy Spirit revealed to me a simple nugget of truth that has been on my mind these couple days.

It would seem that walls in of themselves are not a bad thing as some would suppose. There were times in my past, when I would wince at the thought of there being a wall in my life. After all, a wall prevents us from going where we need to go, seeing who we need to see, or living life like we need to live it.

As I was praying the verse over, and declared that Prison walls need to be torn down while Fortress walls need to be built up, the Spirit dropped into my heart that a prison keeps us from being free. When a fortress is built up, it is usually done so that freedom can be preserved. The Father has done everything necessary to provide for us His Children, true freedom.

The Lord made this statement to me, “To live for yourself is to be in a prison, but to live for Me is to be in a fortress.”

There is true freedom in coming home from a tough day, and that is also true when you can come home to the Father’s house. He has afforded to us full access into His presence, where we can be totally free to live our life to the fullest.

A person who is in prison cannot go home to his family, but he must make his bed far away from those who he loves the most. When I used to do prison ministry, I remember hearing those steel doors come crashing to a close. It was a sinking feeling that was only made better by my knowing, that I could leave anytime I wanted, and go home.

The prisoner is there because they made certain choices in life that got them there. While some might still deny committing the crime, the accuser did a good job of making sure that the price for that crime was paid for by them. They are stuck behind those walls, and are unable to enjoy the freedom to go home.

It seems that humanity has a stubborn attitude of wanting things done “my way”. Burger King made a fortune with that slogan, Frank Sinatra sang it proudly, and many have ended up in Hell trying to do it. Living life “my way”, is how prison walls are built up in our lives.

If we make the Lord our fortress, the Most High our shelter, no evil will conquer us, no plague can come near our home. When we are in a prison, we are at the mercy of the accuser, but when we are in a fortress, we are at the mercy or the Lord almighty. I am unsure about you, but I trust my Jesus much more than I trust myself or the devil.

Can you imagine being in the will and covering of God Almighty, and knowing that nothing can touch you, because it would have to go through Him first, to get through to you? The attacks of the devil, seem like rain drops hitting on a skylight. You can look out of them, and see the rain bouncing off, and know fully that you are high and dry.

To be in God’s will is to be in a fortress, and that is freedom preserved.

If you have been feeling like life is a prison, maybe you need to see what area of your life that you have been trying to do “your way”. When you find yourself trapped in a situation, and the accuser is trying to make you pay for the crime, remember that the debt has already been paid. You need to tear down the prison walls that you have built for yourself, and run home to the fortress of God.

We need to stop allowing our pride to keep us prisoner, and we need to start humbling ourselves so that we can stay in the freedom of God.

Thank you Father for these simple revelations…

I was leaving a comment to Brandy about my blog, and figured I would Copy/Paste it into my blog…

I have been hacking away at my “Official Website” and created a new look. I started bloging exactly 2 years ago as a form of soul searching, and it has been helpful in many areas of healing.

I found this company that will take the contents of your blog, and print them into a book. I have been working on making that book, because I would like to have it in tangible form for my heirs.

It is hard to believe that I only made 60 or so posts in the last 2 years, but there is no better way to have proof of the faithfulness of the Father. I made the choice to be very open and honest about my posts, because now that I look back on them, I can see how totally awesome The Lord was to me.

My life has had so many ups and Downs, and I realized how I am truly capable of being pushed by the waves and the wind, but God is so ever rock solid. I refuse to try to celebrate my failures, but I choose to rejoice in Jesus’ victories.

I could never go by my own personal memory, because even the human memory is fallible, but by writing down my thoughts even as the events are going down, I can see how I am made the righteousness of God in Christ firsthand, and the only glory that I can give, is to my Daddy in Heaven for filling in the areas that I fall short in.

He is such an awesome God!

I am going to start a new chapter in my life in a month or so, and while I am expecting it to be a rough road, I have all the proof necessary to remember that God is Faithful that promised. I am not concerned, because He will never leave me or forsake me.

This morning I woke up thinking about the blog I wrote last night, and read it again. After reading it, I looked up a scripture that was coming to my mind, and it goes like this:

1 Peter 5:6-11
6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
8 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

To humble ourselves is to be obedient to God, and to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand is to be still and allow Him to lift and protect us wherever we are in life. Have you ever seen an animal that is trapped, or a person who is drowning? Do you notice how they fight their rescuers because they are deathly afraid? We sit back and say “why don’t that silly animal or person calm down so that they can be rescued?”

We need to be rescued, and Father God is asking us “why don’t you stay still so that I can help you?” All to often we fight Him off because we see Him as the problem, when in fact His is the solution to the problem. We would rather brag on our problems and hint around for sympathy from others.

We get into this trap of loving the attention of being a failure and walking in suffering, because it is easy to do. Sometimes we can be so stubborn, because we know that we can cause pain in our life and when we suffer from self induced pain, we figure “well, at least I am in control of it.” We would prefer to be in control of our pain, than allow Jesus to be in control of our happiness.

God tells us to be self-controlled, but He doesn’t mean for us to control ourselves in that way. Is is telling the drowning man to be watchful of the waves that are pushing him under, He is telling the trapped animal to be careful of the trap that has them there. We need to learn to focus on who the real enemy is.

Our enemy isn’t the Lord that is trying to save us, and the enemy isn’t other people. The enemy is that old devil that whispers lies into the ears of people who are not self controlled or paying attention. We all have been lied to by Him, and it amazes me that after Satan lies to us, he has the nerve to turn and blame others for that lie.

Isn’t that what misunderstandings are? They are lies taken out of truth, and blame placed on the innocent. My fight wasn’t ever with Michelle, and had I been on guard, I would have never blamed her. I know there were times when she blamed me, and it wasn’t anything that I could control. Simply put, as long as the devil roams around we will be put in seemingly no-win situations, but God tells us not to worry about it because He will see us through if we will trust in Him.

I can’t live my life expecting the worst from all that is around me, but I can live my live knowing that no matter what, my Heavenly Father will see me through. For that, I refuse to waste away in these minor setbacks of life, and choose to rest in the mighty arms of a loving Saviour.

As I sit here this evening, alone in my kitchen, I look out over my living room and I am grateful for my life. Ecclesiastes tells us that there is “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”. If I were so inclined, I could choose to do nothing but weep and mourn over things in my life, but I refuse to do that.

The last thing I want for my life is for it to ring out like a pathetic country song, that never gives anyone hope for anything good. I refuse to try to obtain glory for the times of suffering, but I want my life to be one that gives glory to my Lord Jesus. Really, if I am living in the misery of life, I am refusing to focus on my Father in heaven.

It is when we make the conscience choice to stop living in the “weeping and mourning” and start living in the “laughing and dancing”, that we take our eyes off of ourselves and place them on the Lord Jesus. He has given us so many things in our lives, and it is only because we take them for granted, that we loose site of the blessings that we do have.

To focus on the bad events in our lives, is to rob God of the praise that is due Him.

So as I sit here and I look at the new floors in my living room, I have to give Him praise. My life didn’t start living when I got floors down and completed the room. The living room isn’t living, and frankly everyone that knows me, knows I will work out the details of decorating my house forever.

What really began to be living for me, was when I was Born Again. I don’t remember the exact date I asked Jesus into my life, but I remember the subtle changes that He made in my life along the way. I remember all the fun times I had as a young teenager, and how God’s kindness gave me friends that I still think of on a daily basis.

I remember falling in love with the mom of my girls. I remember telling her that I loved her for the first time, and I remember all the pain that we caused each other as we reacted to each other, rather than love each other unselfishly. I remember the day she moved out, after we both just gave up.

My attitude towards life took a major turn when we brought my oldest home for the first time. She cried all the time, and I even questioned what I had gotten myself in to. I grew up that day, because I took on the responsibility of putting someone else’s needs before my own. I realized that her survival was totally my responsibility, and I tried to be the perfect husband and father.

It is hard to believe that Mallory is going to finish High School this year. We went out and took pics for her graduation, and I was so proud of how pretty and smart she had become.

After Mallory was born, Michelle was told that she needed to have her thyroid taken out. There were times that she would cry for hours on end, because she was afraid that she “would die from cancer”. I remember holding her and praying for her, and I remember crying for her when she finally fell asleep. The only thing I knew to do in any situation, was to give it over to my Lord.

It was a long drive the day we went in for her surgery, and I remember so well stopping in the parking garage so that she could cry again. What does a man do in that situation? Do his words give hope to the hopeless? How does he minister to his petrified bride? I still have no clue if I was ever a good husband in that situation, or if I ever gave her any comfort.

I remember when my second baby was born, and the whirlwind of activity she brought with her. Her mom only got to hold her for a couple hours, before the helicopter flew her off to New Orleans. I was at such a total loss because it seemed like no matter what I did, it wasn’t right. I needed to go check Misty into Oschner’s, but my wife needed me there with her. The ride there was so long, and I felt so inadequate, I prayed the whole way.

After I checked her in and went home, I discovered my wife trying to get out of that hospital. She had to go see her baby, and she forced herself to get up and check out. I tried to get her to slow down so that she could heal, but she wouldn’t hear of it. It was another long drive back to New Orleans as I prayed while she cried. That was another time in my life when I wish I knew that I was a good father and husband in that situation.

I look at Misty now, and she is so pretty. She can talk to anyone, and she is uplifting to everyone she meets. She is my Social Butterfly, and I know that God has a huge purpose for her life. I look at her, and I see a lot of her mom.

Then there is Molly… whew! If I could bottle that girls energy, I could power 10 large cities for a month. After Misty was born, I didn’t want any more kids, and in fact I was planning on getting “fixed”. For some reason we said “let’s have another”, and we did.

Molly put energy back into me, and she keeps me going at times when I don’t think that I can. I see her doing things that astonish me. She is self motivated and pretty much potty trained herself.

I still remember her face when we told her that we were getting a divorce. I remember the look of my baby’s face as her daddy let her down. She told me she still loved me anyway, and often she has said “I still love you daddy” with a gentle smile on her face. I still wonder if I can still be a good daddy after I had failed as a husband.

I wanted to be their mom’s hero, but I will never know if I did anything that she was happy with. She wasn’t one to come out and say “you are a great husband and father”, but my kids more than made up for that.

A man is a very insecure person when it comes to the women in his life. Yes we put up a front, and when it comes to everyone else we are conquerors. We have no problem taking on every challenge that comes our way, but at the end of the day, it is our women that make us who we are. If a man succeeds or fails, it is mainly because of how he perceives himself towards his wife.

As we just went through Easter celebrating the resurrection of Jesus, we can see the huge value that the Father placed on us. I cannot imagine giving my child over to my worst enemies, but God loved us so much that He was willing to do just that.

To see beneath all the sin and filth that covered us, and to be willing to come down and make Himself just as filthy to clean us up, must mean that we are very valuable to the Father in Heaven. He didn’t just stop at dieing, but the Father raised Jesus up from hell and restored Him back to His place in the Heavens.

Can you picture in your mind’s eye, Jesus approaching the throne of God with His blood in hand? Can you see how he gave the blood to the Father, and said “this blood will pay every debt they owe and will ever owe”? The price paid for us alone, is what gives us great value.

To try to get glory in our sufferings, is to take our eyes off the awesome grace that we have through Jesus. It is time to turn the mourning into dancing, and be glad not for the pain we have seen and been through, but be glad for the great love that the Father has for us.

I will probably never know if I did one thing right as a husband, but I do not need that to laugh or dance. I don’t have to allow other people’s rejection of me, control my living. My living comes from the Lord Jesus, and that is true life.

Thank you Father for giving me my living room, but especially for giving me room for living!

A while back I uploaded a picture of the burn on Misty’s leg. I wanted to give you an update on that.

God is really healing her ankle quickly. I say this as an added praise to Him, because Spina Bifida would normally be a major concern in this case, but her leg is healing faster than a “normal” leg would.

This is exciting to me, because it means that she is going through the healing process of the curse of that disease as well.

The meat is growing back as you can see. I am so grateful to the Father for His healing power. I am also grateful to those that obediently prayed for her.

As I was praying this morning, I felt the Holy Spirit impress this on my heart:

Three things last forever: Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love….

You have no Hope without Faith, and you have no Faith without Love. Love is the base element in everything God created. Anything that you gain that is void of Love, is useless.

There have been times in the past few months, where I have been wondering if I have any hope at all, of making it through some really rough situations. I have had to let some things go, that were very dear to me, and I walked around in a daze.

I know that “Faith is the substance of things Hoped for…” and when I check my beliefs that God’s Word is true, I know that I know that God has the power and that He wants to use His power to help me.

The problem was not that there wasn’t hope…

The problem was not that God wasn’t willing or was powerless…

The problem was my personal love walk towards some things.

2 Timothy 3:5 says “having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.”

The word deny there can mean 2 things:
First, it can mean “I don’t think you have the power”
Second, it can mean “I know that you have the power, but I will hinder it by my words or actions”

I understand now that while God still used me in so many ways, I wasn’t really tapping into the fullness of what He wanted for my life. I never denied that He could do anything, but I sure did hinder it by failing to walk in love. I want to take my walk with Jesus so much deeper, and I don’t want to cause these revelations of the Spiritual World to be rendered useless.

I can’t take any of the revelations and prophesies that I have been receiving into the eternal afterlife, and consider them as offerings to God. I can surely do it though with the way I walked in love towards other people, because “Love lasts forever”.

I hear so often how God wants to bless us with a harvest of 30, 60 or 100 fold, but I would rather my life glorify Him 30, 60 or 100 fold. That to me, is something that I can take to heaven with me when I die.

All I could do after He impressed this upon me, was to stop, repent, and praise Him for His unending love.
Father God is so awesome!

My book is now officially in tangible form, and ready to be shipped out.

I have an idea how Abraham felt when God told him to leave all he knew and go to a land he knew not.
I know I was led to write this book, but now I and seeking for the part that I know not.

Ok… actually this whole process was tons of “I know not…”, and the sweet Holy Spirit has guided and helped me the whole way.

The next step of this process is distribution, and sales was never my strong suite. All that means to me is that there is one more time that the Father will have to show Himself mighty. I have set up my own website to sell it at, and I am working out the details to have it listed at Amazon.com. I also am looking at how to get it in the major book stores.

I would like to thank all my friends who have been praying for me, and I ask that you believe with me for God’s appointed doors to open, and for favor through this. I still am seeking to see what He wants me to do with this book now that it is done.

I also am so grateful to my Lord for being with me…. Jesus truly rocks!